Last night I was craving bread big time. I would kill for a biscuit. Or some toast. Mmm. I may end up spending my flex points of bread instead of cheese and sweets.

Now I really want some ice cream. Not the Healthy Choice stuff I have in my freezer, real ice cream.

So, I'm doing the Core this week, which is Weight Watcher's version of the South Beach Diet. The idea is to eat only from the "Core foods" list, which includeds lean meats, all un-processed veggies and fruits, and fat-free dairy product, et al. You are also allowed 35 points of non-Core foods for the week. I started yesterday and almost gave up after breakfast, when I had eaten all of the Core foods I had brought to work (scrambled eggs and an apple) and I was still hungry. I stuck to it though, and I think I'll be able to suffer out the week.

My thought process for trying the Core was this:

I was looking through a notebook I keep of recipes torn out from magazines, marking recipes that would be low in points. I noticed that most of the recipes that I had marked would also be Core--that is, they contained only lean meats and veggies and spices or herbs. I thought that it might not be too hard to stick to eating from those recipes, plus fruit to snack on, for a week.

I noticed that while I was doing Flex, I almost never ate bread. I tend not to keep bread on hand anyway, because it always spoils before I can eat it all, and it is too many points for it to make it onto my Flex menu. One of the drawbacks of the Core is that you can eat bread, but you have to count the points, and since I had already cut most of the breads out of my dieting lifestyle, I didn't think it would be to hard.

I also would like to exercise more than I do on Flex. The deal with exercise on WW is, the more you do, the more you get to eat. On Flex I was getting enough points to eat every day (at this point) that I didn't have a big incentive to go out and exercise. On the Core, you also can eat your exercise (or "activity") points, and since you get less of them per day or week, there is a bigger incentive to go out an earn more points by exercising.

And finally, I haven't been hitting all of the WW good health guidelines everyday, specifically, I haven't been getting enough calcium or heart-healthy oils on Flex. Milk and olive oil just add to many points for me to work them in every day. On Core, I can eat as much of those as I want without worrying about the points, so it's a lot easier to hit those marks. Plus, I can eat other things, like avocado, which I was avoiding on Flex because it is high in points.

I'm only planning on doing the Core for this one week, because I have social engagements the next few weeks and I'll want to have the flexibility of Flex. If it goes well, I might try alternating between the two plans whenever I have down weeks. So far, the Core has required as much (if not more) forethought as Flex, so neither seems to be better when I am feeling stressed or tired.

288 : 263.6 : 250

Rant copied from a IM conversation:

I have no sympathy for Renee Zellweger's marital woes.

Renee has been on my shit list ever since she kept talking about how hard it was for her to gain the weight for Bridget Jones's Diary, and how fat she was, and how's she naturally very thin! Honestly! Her ribcage has always protruded like that!

If you look at her in Jerry Maguire, before she was a supastah!, she's slim, certainly. She put on 15 lbs and looked very average in Bridget Jones, and looked great, not fat by any means. And then she dieted down to a skeleton. You can actually count her ribs in Chicago. And her comments about her weight fluxuations were pretty insulting.

I appreciate the fact that she's working in an industry in which a size 0 is normal, size 2 is heavy, and size 4 is heiferish. I understand (and regret) that celebrities are held to a different standard that the rest of us. But I especially dislike Renee because she had a chance to address the issue in a relevant way--she did actually gain weight to play a normal-sized woman, which is something noteworthy in Hollywood. But instead of using that opportunity in a positive way for all women, she used it to turn herself into a martyr--she had to be fat! For a whole six months! It was terrible!

So my point is, I have no sympathy for her marital troubles and I don't think she's any more "down to earth" than any other celebrity. Even if she did go to UT.

I had a slice of carrot cake today at a work birthday party. According to nutritional websites, a 3 oz slice of carrot cake is 9 points. I have no idea how big my piece was, but that's close enough. But on my points tracker, I only counted it as 7 because I didn't enjoy it much. Oh well, I'm doing well, I can fudge a little.

Mmm, fudge.

288: 268: 250: Woo!

Less than 100 pounds to lose! Woo! Only 97 pounds to go!

288 : 272.2 : 175

I'm still on plan, but I don't feel like posting much, for some reason. I'm in that first great week of WW where I'm still motivated to eat fruit for snacks and make myself a salad every night to eat for lunch the next day, and I'm never hungry and I always have a few points left over at the end of the day. It's a good place to be in, while it lasts, but I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I know that any day now, I'll be too tired to go to the store and buy fruit and veggies to snack on, so I'll start eating crap because I'm hungry, but it won't be as filling as a healthy snack, and I'll be grumpy because I'll be out of points and hungry. I know that it's lurking around the corner.

And since I've been under on points the last couple of days, I really want to go to the store and buy snacky things that aren't so healthy, like chocolate chip granola bars, which, technically I can have because they are only a few points (2, I think. Or three.) and I have the points to spare. But I'm hesistant to buy that stuff, because in the past it's been hard to stop myself when I start snacking on sugar. I feel like I should be in a healthier-mental state before I start doing that, so I won't over eat, but I don't know how or when I'm gonna get there.

Also, I've been exercising a bit this week, which makes me feel good, but my evening class just started and I've been looking into ways to carpool to work to save on gas, and I don't know how to fit working-out into my new schedule. This becoming-healthy thing, it's definitely not easy.

I brought a lot of fruit to work to snack on this week, but I'm sitting here looking at it, a little afraid to eat it. Last time I started WW I had bad diarrhea because I was not used to eating so much fiber. I've probably eating a little better recently than I was back then, so maybe it won't affect me so much, but I'm also wishing that I had some Immodium on hand, just in case. I'd run over to the pharmacy and get some, but I signed up for a flexible spending account at work that doesn't start until September 1, so I'm trying to put off all pharmecutical purchases until then. I'm also sore from painting a friend's house this weekend and out of Advil at home, so I'm living with the pain until Thursday (although, hopefully it will be gone by then, anyway).

Went back to Weight Watchers yesterday, and I've lost 5 pounds since I quit in January. At least I didn't gain five, so woo!

I liked the meeting a lot more than the ones I was going to before. The leader, M, seems a lot more into getting to know and tracking the progress of her clients, more so than the lady at the other meeting did. It was also a lot more interactive and group-supportive than the other meeting. I think I'm going to like this a lot more.

288 : 276.4 : 250

Woo! I've been to the gym twice this week, and I'm feeling good. I discovered that the Faculty/Staff weight room is deserted on Tuesday nights at 8:00, which could be a good time for me to go this summer. It's hard to go right after work, and it's impossible to go before work, so the evenings may be my best bet. It's a little cooler outside, so my energy isn't zapped just by the walk down to my car. I had previously discounted evenings because I didn't want all of that excitement just before bedtime to keep me up, but I slept really well last night and even woke up before my alarm went off. And I'm not sluggish at work today. I haven't had a Diet Coke yet this morning, and sometimes, I'm in for three by 11:00. Yay for the gym.

I think I am going to try to cut back on my Diet Coke intake and drink more water. I read something the other day about how drinking sweet-tasting things without calories (like DC) confuses your body, so it tries to overcompensate by craving more sweet things. I don't know about all that, but 3 or 4 DCs a day (before 6:00pm, even, I don't drink them later so I can sleep) can not be healthy.

Does it count as will-power when I didn't eat a slice of cake this afternoon only because I was too lazy to walk across the street and buy it? I didn't eat it, so it should count, right?

Today, I had to deliver papers to an office on the fifth floor of a building without an elevator. Last time I was there, in December, I was breathing hard by the time I reached the third flight of stairs and was so out of breath by the time I got to the top, I could barely talk to the person I was dropping the papers off too. It was sooo embarrassing. Today, though, I made it all the way to the top before I started breathing hard. And I was able to talk to the guy normally. So, yay, even if I don't weigh a lot less than I did a few months ago, I'm definitely in better shape.

Didn't make it to the gym after work yesterday. I did do more crunches at home though, and then stretched out my abs really well, and I'm not half as sore today as I was yesterday.

I brought my clothes with me to work today, so I can go to the gym after. I don't really feel like it, though. I'm driving to Dallas straight after work on Thursday, and I really need to work on get my apartment straightened up tonight and tomorrow night. I know that if I go to the gym, I'll come home too pooped to clean. What I need is ankle and wrist weights that I can wear while I clean, so I don't have to go to the gym. When I when the lottery, that'll be the fourth thing I buy.

Well, I've been off Weight Watchers for 3 months (almost exactly), and I've lost three pounds! Not too shabby, considering all of the ice cream I've eaten in that interim.

Okay, new weight-loss goal is to reduce the size of my ass before I fly to San Francisco at the end of May. Also, to be in better shape, so as not to huff and puff up and down all of those hills.

Immediate goal: to run home during lunch and grab my workout clothes, so I can go to the gym after work. I went on Saturday for the first time in a looong time, and it felt really good. Last week I was doing sit-ups while watching TV, and then I did crunches on a balance ball at the gym, and boy did I feel the difference.

Food goals: eat more veggies. I ate a lot during those three weeks I did WW, and I didn't hate it. Haven't eaten much since then.

288/279.2/260

What kind of diet is this?

Last night I ate a million Peproni rolls. Okay, not a million, but 41 points worth (I don't even want to think about how many calories that is). But, despite that, I'm still on the diet as long as I eat reasonibly for the rest of the week. I even have 7.5 discretionary points left. And, if I go to the gym, I can eat whatever activity points I earn. Something just doesn't seem right.

I think I'm going to skip my meeting tonight and go to the gym instead. I'm kind of broke right now (but I get paid at the end of the week), and I'm don't feel like I lost any weight. No, I weighed myself yesterday (at the gym), and I know I haven't lost any weight. So, why should I pay $12 to go to the stinkin' meeting and feel bad about myself, when I can go to the gym and feel good?

Thoughts?

I went to the grocery store the other night and restocked on healthy food. It's surprisingly expensive to eat well. I mean, I'm buying fresh veggies and frozen chicken, and then actually eating them (as opposed to my previous habit of buying fresh veggies and then letting them rot in my fridge while I eat out almost every meal). And then I have to go back to the store every couple of days to restock. I've never eaten like this before.

One of the things I bought at the grocery store, which I will never buy again, was Oreo Thin Crisps. I had heard about these from bloggers doing WW, as a perfect 2-point snack. It even says across the top of the box, in bigger letters than the name Oreo, 100 Calorie Packs! Basically, they are chocolate-flavored crackers, in little one serving packages. If you aren't expecting them to taste like (or even remind you of) Oreos, they aren't bad, once you get over the fact that you are eating chocolate crackers. But for 2 points, they aren't that tasty or filling. I'd much rather have 3 Hersheys Kisses if I want something sweet and/or chocolatey, or some fruit or carrot sticks if I'm actually hungry and want something to munch on.

Hey, do you want to help me right an injustice? WW has all kinds of books and website guides to eating out, which contain the menus of chain restaurants and the nutritional information and/or points values of the food. I don't eat at chain restaurants if I can help it, so these lists are not good to me. I would like, however, the nutritional information for one of my favorite Austin-based restaurants, namely, Chuys. They have great enchiladas. I don't know how to eat them now, though, because I have no idea how to count them. I guess I could still eat there, and just order fajitas or salad or something where I can control exactly what goes into my mouth, but man, I love those enchiladas. I tried emailing and asking them nicely if they could make the nutritional info available, but I got a curt "No" in response. So, if you could, please send an email to hey (at) chuys.com and ask them to make the nutritional info for their menu available on their website. Let me know what kind of response you get in the comments. And, if you have any email requests you'd like me to make on your behalf, I'd be happy to.

Second weigh-in, I lost 2 lbs. It kinda sucks. I mean, I ate a little more haphazardly this weekend than maybe I should have, but I stayed within my points for the week, I'm sure. I guess I expected to drop a lot of weight at first, as most people do, and it doesn't seem like that's happening. I got my 5 lb bookmark, though, so woo for that.

I think my pants are feeling looser, though. And, I was chatting with my boss this morning and I mentioned WW, and she told me I looked great. I really doubt that she could see any change, given that 5 lbs on a body as large as mine doesn't really show up, but it was nice of her to say.

288/282.5/260

Gah, weekends suck, diet-wise. Apparently, when I don't have work to structure my meals around, I eat crap. Technically, I'm still okay on points for the week, but now I know--I need to save my Flex points for the weekend, because I will be using them for sure.

Tonight is my second weigh-in. As a reward after, I'm going to a screening of Amelie with free creme brulee. Note to self: save some points for that, too. According to Calorie King, a half-cup serving of creme brulee is 9 points. It will be worth it, though.

One good thing about this (long) weekend (hooray for MLK!), though, is I went to the gym. Twice. So, I've made that leap, and I huffed and puffed with the skinny-armed 19-year olds. And it felt really good. Now, I need to find time in my regular work schedule to go to the gym. There's no way I could get up before work to go; I'm doing well to get to work on time as it is. And I'm usually pretty tired after work. I just need to make myself go. Got to go.

A recipe from Put Down the Donut:

Baked Apple Streusel

Ingredients:
4 medium apple(s), peeled, cored and thinly sliced (use firm apples)
1/2 cup unpacked brown sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg*
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup all-purpose flour 1
/4 cup uncooked old-fashioned oats
3 tbsp reduced-calorie margarine

Preheat oven to 350°F. Stir together apples, 1/4 cup of brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and lemon juice; pour into a 1 1/2 quart baking dish. Cut flour, oatmeal, remaining brown sugar and margarine together with a pastry blender or fork in a medium bowl; sprinkle over apple mixture. Bake until apples are tender and top is browned, about 45 minutes.

Yields about 1/2 cup per serving. WW Points: 2 pts per serving. Suggestion... top with a dollop of frozen fat free cool whip. It's 0 points for the cool whip which is a bonus.

That sounds tasty. I wonder how many servings it makes--I wouldn't want a lot leftover, for me to gorge on.

I didn't go to the gym last night. I was very tired by 5:00, so I just went home and crashed. I went to bed last night with a headache, and I still have it, so it doesn't look good for the gym today either. I'll go this weekend for sure, though. It will be less crowded. Perhaps that's why I'm feeling bad--it's psychosomatic. I don't want to put on my non-flattering gym clothes and struggle on the cardio machines amidst a sea of 19-year old bodies in spandex. I'm usually not that self-conscious at the gym, but it's hard to go back that first time.

According to my BMI, my weight loss has already slid from "extremely obese" to "obese." Whew, that's a load off my mind [/sarcasm]. I'll have to reach 215 lbs to make it down to "overweight."

Yet another weight-loss self-motivator:

After I spend eight weeks straight on the program, I get to buy new sneakers. The shoes I currently wear to work out in are worn out. I have another pair, but they don't fit as well as my older ones. And both of those pairs came from Payless. If I can stick to this for two months, I'll but myself a pair of New Balance sneaks--which makes their sneakers primarly in the US, not in Asian sweatshops.

March 1st, I've got you circled on my calendar.

Random things I'm thinking about:

1) I brought my gym clothes to work today, so I can go to the gym straight after work. There, I've written about it on the Internet, so I have to do it.

2) It's already become easy for me to drink my 6 glasses of water at work. I have a little teal bottle that holds two cups of water, and I sit at my desk and sip through it in no time. I have to refill it three times a day, so the walk back and forth to the water cooler, and then back and forth to the bathroom is a little more exercise than I would normally get, so, woo!

3) At my last meeting, I bought a slim black folder to put my little WW food journal in. They have a bigger bound journal that I actually might like a little better, so I can see what I ate the week before, but this thing was cheaper and it will suit my needs for now. I need to put some reflective tape or stickers or something on it, though, so I can see it in the bottom of my bag.

I've heard talk on the WW message boards (or maybe it was on Mr. Ointy) about so-called "trigger foods." From what I can tell from context clues, these are foods that trigger over-eating. Foods that once you start eating them, you tend to not stop. I'm proud of myself, because last night, I let myself eat on of my trigger foods, DoubleDave's Peproni rolls, and I managed to control myself.

One of my rituals over the last year has been Tuesday night Peproni rolls. On Tuesdays, DoubleDave's has their rolls on sale two-for-the-price-of-one, which is a very cheap dinner. Because I used to live in a delivery dead-zone, I would call in an order for eight or ten or twelve rolls (thinking that I would have leftovers for lunches) at 6:25 precisely, the jump in my car and drive maniacally to the DoubleDave's on Duval and 31st (because they had more accessible parking than the slightly closer DoubleDave's on 24th and San Antonio), pick up my rolls, grab some cups of ranch dressing from the salad bar, and then try to make it home at 7:00 precisely, just in time for Gilmore Girls. The rolls are perfection when eaten still hot from the oven, so if I got home too early, I had to choose between eating cold rolls during the show, or eating hot rolls with nothing on TV. Such is the dilemma of the obese. When I moved to my current apartment, which is within the DD delivery area, I started ordering in--I could get rolls during Gilmore Girls or The Amazing Race, without endanger my life or others! But, once I got a big pizza box full of yummy Peproni rolls in front of two hours of my favorite TV shows, I wouldn't stop eating at two rolls or five. I would eat rolls until I was absolutely stuffed and felt slightly sick, then put the rest of the box in the fridge, to be eaten a few at a time over the next day or so. It's a digusting ritual, but for real, I did this every week for a good seven or eight months. It's no wonder my gall bladder gave out.

Last week, my first day on WW, I didn't dare order the rolls, because I didn't want to start the program off on a bad foot. Last night, however, I braved the roll--partially because I've been eating grilled chicken strips for the last week and I'm already getting tired of that, and partially because, well, the rolls are good. And I had 19 points left for the day, so I figured that I had some room to indulge a little. Thankfully, the DoubleDave's website has the nutritional info on the rolls (6.6 points each), or else I might have had to leave them alone entirely, because I'm not that good at estimating points yet.

So, I ordered a conservative four rolls (you have to order them in twos to get the discount, and four rolls is only $3. I would be too embarrassed to only order two, and walk in there with my $1.50. Something for me to think about later--how much of my bad eating habits are dictated by possible embarrassment?), thinking that I would eat two with a salad for dinner last night, and then have two left over for dinner or lunches or whatever. I went to pick them up before TAR (there was not a new GG last night), and even got some ranch dressing, figuring that I could dip lightly and count it as one point. The rolls were so good. I couldn't stop at two, though, and I ate three, which put me a little over points for yesterday, which is fine, because that's what Flex points are there for. And I have one left over for lunch today. I'm so proud of myself for exercising the constraint that I did--I didn't overeat, and I didn't go to bed feeling hungry. If this WW can really teach me how to eat in moderation, and to trade off nights of indulgence with nights of really big salads, it will be well worth it.

One of my coworkers thinks that the rolls would freeze well, so that's something to remember in the future.

(In the back of my mind, I'm a little scared that the fact that I ate Peproni rolls last night at all, and especially the fact that I had third roll was a sign of weakness. I mean, I ate out on Monday night, so I need to be cutting back already. I can't lose control of this in the second week, I just can't. It's really hard.)

Last night, my friend M. gave me a good idea for another self-motivating tactic--everytime I go to the gym, I can put a dollar into a jar. Then, at the end of the month (when I always seem to be flat-broke), I can treat myself to the movies or something with the cash I've accumulated.

Thanks for the great idea, M.!

Okay, so I'm supposed to be setting weight-loss goals. My WW leader, J., takes a very sensible approach to this (imho) and doesn't want us to set a pie-in-the-sky Lifetime goal weight at the start. Because, you know, who wants to think about losing 110 pounds, when you're supposed to be losing an average of 2 lbs a week. She doesn't want to set us up for failure, so we get to set smaller, much more attainable goals. The WW programs gives you stickers and pins and key chains and magnets and shit like that when you hit 5 lb markers, and I think J. gives her members extra prizes, like a plant or something when they hit big markers. That's all well and good, but I think I want to set up my own incentives to match my own personal weight-loss goals. Here's what I've come up with so far:

• 10% weight-loss, 28 lbs: a new work-out outfit. 10% is a big thing in WW, because studies have shown that a weight loss of only 10% reduces your risk of heart disease and cancer and a lot of bad stuff. I'm picking it because it's a nice round number, and it seems pretty attainable. Also, Target has some really cute workout clothes, but I can't really justify spending the money on those right now, because I'm broke, and if I stick to this for a while, I'll be needing to buy smaller clothes anyway.
• 15% weight-loss, 43.2 lbs: a Choose Carbs t-shirt. I love that shirt, but I would feel too self-conscious to wear it now. But, if I can lose 43.2 lbs, I think I will have earned the right to wear it with pride.

I'll try to think of some more, but right now, it's time for lunch.

So I weighed in last night and...I lost 3.5 pounds. Pessimist Dona says: Inconclusive. That 3.5 pounds could be due to the cold I had last week, and so yesterday I had 3.5 pounds less phlegm than I did the previous Monday. Optimist Dona says: Woo! 3.5 pounds is like, totally 1.2% of my body weight! This rawks!

Really, 3.5 pounds is nothin'. Even the receptionist lady who weighed me in was all, "So, you've been doing the program?" And I was like, "More or less," because I couldn't say, "No, bitch, I've been eating pie with every meal for the last week, except the pie tasted exactly like baby carrots! Can you believe that!?" And then during the meeting, the leader was all talking about how even once you reach your goal weight and start maintaining, your weight can fluctuate 5-7 pounds in the course of a week. It can even fluctuate 3 pounds in the course of a day. The point of this was to show us the the goals we set should be loose enough to accomodate fluctuation, and you know, you shouldn't necessarily set your sights on fitting back into your prom dress because that might not be reasonable. But for me, the whole talk just emphasized that my small weight loss could be one of these weekly fluctuations, and isn't necessarily a result of all of the baby carrots and baby spinach I've eaten in the last week. I'm sure some of the other women there had smaller changes than I, so I wonder if they felt the same way--like any loss under 5 pounds was inconsequential. And since WW is designed to help you lose 2 pounds or less a week, I guess I'll have to stick with the program for another while and see what happens. Evil corporate bastards, that's just what they want me to do.

The leader also announce that "The Duchess" will be in town today, and she (the leader, J.) had been invited to a luncheon in her honor. A lot of women there gasped when she said "The Duchess" but it took me a minute to figure out that she was talking about Fergie. I didn't realize that Fergie was still a WW spokesperson. J. is going to report back next week what Fergie is up to, and what she ate for lunch today. I'm not sure why I'm supposed to care.

I celebrated my first weigh-in (and loss, woo!) by eating out. I went to EZs and got the Alamo Bowl, one of my favorite restaurant meals. It's a big bowl of rice, refried black beans and grilled chicken, garnished with goat cheese and some kind of tasty secret-ingredient salsa (which prevents me from making this at home--I can't figure out what makes it so tasty). It was good. I couldn't count the points exactly because I'm not yet familiar enough with portion sizes to tell the difference between 1/2 a cup of beans and a cup of beans, but it really didn't matter. My Flex points started over today, and I came no where near to eating them all last week. I finished the night off with a slice of devil's food cake from Central Market, which was good too. And it was nice to go to bed feeling really satisfied.

288/284.5/260

Yep, I'm definitely not as enthused this week about the diet as I was last week. I broke down and ate two mini-Snickers with my lunch, even though I brought apples and oranges to work for me to snack on.

Tonight is my first weigh-in, so we'll see if this is going to be worth $12 a week. I'd like to think that the number on the scale doesn't matter, and on one level, it doesn't. I don't hate myself because I'm fat. I don't look in the mirror and grimace 95% of the time. I don't like the way I photograph, but I never did, even when I was a lot thinner. The number on the scale only matters because it's the only imperical evidence I have that I'm smaller than I was last week, because I don't feel any skinnier and my clothes aren't looser.

I don't want this diet to turn into an obession with the scale, so I'm not weighing myself in-between meetings. I don't want to be celebrating the -.5s and getting depressed over the +.4s. I want the change to be in how I feel--I want to feel healthier and have more energy. I want to feel better about myself not just because I'm skinny, but because I've conquered something, some unnamed demon that made me this way, over 100 lbs. overweight. I want to learn how to eat properly. Last summer, when I had my gall bladder attacks and I wasn't planning on having the surgery right away, I tried to eat less fat so as not to anger my diseased gall bladder, and I realized that I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know what a low-fat diet was. That's just sad. It's also sad that it took me some six months or so to make a change, but now I'm doing it. So that's something. We'll see tonight if it's working.

I posted a question on the Weight Watchers message board about me not reaching my daily points target (the minimum number of points I'm supposed to eat each day), and this was the only helpful response:

If you want more points but not more junk, the best things to increase are dairy and protein. Buy full-fat dairy products. For protein, increase eggs, lean meat and peanut butter. Also full-fat salad dressing and nuts - those are better kinds of fat.

So, that's there, for future reference. I'm already eating full-fat cheese (in small amounts) and salad dressing, but I could eat peanut butter with apples and bananas--that sounds goood.

So today's my third day on Weight Watchers, and I don't think I'mdoing it right. Today, I've eaten pretty much the same kind of things I used to eat on a typical workday--oatmeal and a banana forbreakfast, and a salad for lunch. I mean, these are the exact foods that I brought to work a few months ago. The only difference is thatI measured the amount of milk I put in the oatmeal and the amount of dressing that I put on the salad, so my points would come out even. And, I didn't eat four or five mini Snickers out of the candy bowl in the breakroom. But I still have 21 points for the rest of the day, so if I can figure out how many points a mini-Snickers is, I could probably have one. Plus a Smart Ones fudgesicle when I get home from work.

From what I've been doing so far, the main differences in my diet are fewer sweets (no pint of ice cream for dinner) and less pizza, becauseI don't know how to count it. I could have a slice or two, if I could figure out the points and keep myself from eating half the pie, as I used to do.

This just seems weird and not diet-y. I mean, I guess I'm eating fewer sweets and fewer fatty foods, but I haven't felt hungry or deprived or anything. I'm not filling up on vegetables and fruits--I haven't made it to five servings a day yet, which is the reccomended amount. It doesn't really feel like I'm on a diet, just like I've taken up the hobby of writing down what I eat. Which isn't thrilling. I don't feel like I'm losing weight either. Not that I expect to feel lighter, but in the past when I've made a conscious effort to exercise more or whatever, I felt really good about myself. And my clothes fit better. I guess I should see how I feel after longer than three days, or after I weigh in, or something. But at this point, I'm not that impressed.